


Perfectly Human

by LaMadeleine



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Fluff, General use of she/her pronouns because they're in drag, I will die for my use of metaphors, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Perfectly Human, Shangela is there for maybe 10 seconds, ft. perfectionist Violet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 03:30:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15788049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaMadeleine/pseuds/LaMadeleine
Summary: When Violet doesn’t appear at the bar after a trip onstage, Pearl heads backstage to look for her.





	Perfectly Human

The club drifted from Pearl’s mind; the haze of bodies and music swallowed by the click of the latch. Her heels clacked against the concrete of the hallway, irregular as she stumbled, one hand out to brace herself on the wall. The cocktail in her other hand slipping over the rim of the glass, glistening an odd fluorescent purple as it splashed onto the floor and her hand; the chill of it on her skin a momentary fascination. She pushed herself forward, head spinning with the affectionate fuzz of the night’s drinks. The muffled noise of the club left her with the catch and caress of her hair against the silk of her robe as the hallway stretched on and on, the music dissolved further and further until she reached the final dressing room.

 

Its door had been left open, the light on. She winced as she peered inside: the lights bright and practical, a dressing table and coat stand, empty.

The chill from the window bit at the leftover cocktail on her hand and her eyes stung bitterly. She shook her head and sniffed.  Pearl sucked the stickiness of the cocktail from her hand as she slumped in the empty chair, the cocktail left off to one side.  Her eyes swept across the bare table, her hand trailing over the surface, collecting loose powder and bits of glitter. A single bead from Violet’s dress caught under her hand, scratching along the table; she pinched it between her fingers, catching her own eyes in the mirror as she stared at it. She saw the tightness in her features, her own face protesting her sudden need to find Violet after _one_ stumble.

The window was open. Pearl tugged her robe tightly around herself and stood from the table. The bead rolled onto the floor.

The floor seemed to have steadied from its earlier sway as she pulled the window closed, grounded by the chill that spread up her fingers from the pain. She let her hand fall, breathing out slowly.

_She’s already gone._

Pearl squeezed her eyes shut briefly before wobbling towards the door. She pressed her palm to the doorframe, her forehead against the back of her hand, eyes half-shut.

 

It was as she pushed herself off the frame and threw one last look back at the room that she saw it. There, beneath the table, shoved as far out of sight as it could go, was Violet’s bag. She swayed onto her knees as she reached under the table and tugged the bag out little by little, tentatively turning it around. She stared at the feather boa strangled in the zipper, the rest packed with all the care a sweep of an arm could give; one side smeared with shimmer in scattered fingerprints and swipes of a hand. Pearl passed her fingers over where the bag gaped open, all of Violet’s gear shoved inside. Pearl frowned.

_She hasn’t left yet._

 

Pearl pulled herself from the floor and span out of the room, tripping a little against the open door. She trotted down the hall towards the back door, the purple light blurring at the edges of her vision. The emergency exit sign came into view, the door propped open by a brick.

“Pearl!”

She teetered dangerously as she turned to see Shangela, the other queen having out of the wall as far as Pearl could tell.

“Shangela, hey!”

Shangela was grinning, her wig still holding off her face despite the sheer movement of her routine earlier that night.

“You going for a smoke?” She gestured to where Pearl’s hand was wrapped around the push bar. Pearl stood very still.

“I- Yeah, getting a quick one in before the drinks really get going. You headed back in?”

Shangela squinted at Pearl in the low light,

“Yeah, got to get back before the shots start,” she glanced down the hall Pearl had come from, “You haven’t seen Violet have you?”

Pearl flushed, the prickled of warmth across her cheeks leaving her hoping that several layers of conceal and the tiny lights would keep it from Shangela.  The smirk pulling at the other queen’s lips said otherwise.

“I’ve not seen her since-” Shangela quirked a brow. Pearl bit her cheek. “I haven’t seen her, no. M’sure she’s at the bar by now.”

Shangela hummed, contemplative if not entirely convinced. Pearl swallowed thickly,

“I’m just going to-” waving one hand, she slid around the cracked door and out into the alley, barely hearing Shangela echo the sentiment.

 

It was cold and, as Pearl glanced down at her robe, she realised that she hadn’t brought anything with her. Her phone was still inside somewhere with the other queens, her cigarettes and lighter too. _Fuck_. She patted herself down to the ends of her robe.

_No cigar._ She snorted, a wonder that Shangela had believed anything she had said. She huffed, pulling her robe around herself again as she looked up and down the alley, its deep shadows falling from the single lamp above the door. It wasn’t as filthy as it could have been, but nothing about the back alley of a club screamed _Violet_.

 

Maybe it wasn’t Violet she should have been looking for in the first place. Violet would have been at the bar by now, laughing the whole thing away like a speck of dust off her shoulder. Pearl held back a groan and turned back to the door, considering whether she had overreacted to everything on Violet’s behalf, that she would go back to the bar and find the party in full swing in the body of Miss Violet Chachki, that she would laugh at the idea and smile coyly at her,

“It was only a little fall, Pearlie girl, don’t go all knight-in-shining-armour on me.”

And yet Pearl couldn’t bring herself to believe that Violet would be there, even as her legs goosepimpled and begged her to go inside.

There was a noise. Pearl’s head snapped to her left, up the alley towards the street, to a thick shadow beyond the shape of the dumpsters. She waited, her vision wobbling slightly from the turn, until it came again, choked off, stifled. Pearl edged forward and out of the shadow emerged the edge of the dumpster and the long, crooked line of one outstretched leg.

_Violet._

Pearl drew a breath, having to choke it back down with her regret as the stench of the dumpster filled her nose. She sidestepped past the dumpster slowly, a bow-legged inelegance to her sidling as she tried to keep her noise to a minimum. It was only as she stopped beside Violet, who was propped against the wall and staring point-blank at the wall in front of her, that Pearl realised that Violet must have seen her coming. She watched as Violet shifted one of her legs further over, making room for her when Pearl didn’t make a move to sit uninvited.

 

Despite planning to perch herself next to the other queen, Pearl found herself thudding against the wall and sliding down with a bump, her legs curled in front of her in a miserable attempt to keep off the persistent chill. It struck her then that Violet wasn’t dressed for being outside for long either, her dress leaving her shoulders and legs bare without the jacket she usually propped over it.

Beside her, Violet seemed to shine in the shadows, the faint light of the street glancing off the twirling beads of her dress and the jewels in her curled updo. It all seemed wrong to Pearl: Violet in full glamour sat out in an alley, not looking at anything but the wear of an old wall, glittering dimly like the broken glass of a chandelier. It all seemed so wrong. But then, so had Violet’s fall – something small – a catch of her feet as she crossed the stage and then she had been falling, a porcelain doll knocked from its shelf, landing with a sad thud.

The stillness of her figure, with her arms braced against the floor and one knee bent so she could get back to her feet, so she could finish the song. Yet, before she managed to move, still spread out on the stage in a choked silence, her glittering costume and her doll-like face seemed to have been dropped from a far greater height.

She hadn’t even winced. Pearl had barely noticed the tightness of her jaw as she had heaved herself back into the rhythm of the song; she had barely noticed the momentary pinching shut of her eyes. Violet had carried on, finished and bowed off-stage under her own steam. She had been fine, not a hair out of place. But here she was, palms curled in her lap, sat next to Pearl in the back alley, perfectly still.

 

Pearl looked at the wall, its ridges and bumps smoothed over by the thick paint on its brickwork and the bits of green growing where it met the concrete. Then, as she shuffled a little, there was the thin line of warm air between Violet’s body and her own and the press of eyes against the side of her head. She glanced back up at Violet, catching her just as she looked away. She couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face.

“Hey.” She kept her eyes on Violet’s profile, her grin only growing when Violet startled slightly, a smile of her own pulling at her lips when she couldn’t hold down a watery laugh, looking at Pearl out of the corner of her eye.

“Hi?”

Pearl chuckled, nudging her shoulder into Violet’s before they returned to their standoff with the wall. Violet dabbed at her cheeks in Pearl’s peripheral vision, dropping her eyes to her lap with a sniffle. Pearl looked back at her, careful not to stare at the non-cosmetic shine around Violet’s eyes.

“You okay there, Pumpkin” Violet gave a disbelieving laugh,

“Sure, why not?” Pearl watched her jaw tighten. “Definitely didn’t floor myself in front of a club full of people.” Her eyebrows pinched together, “Their _phones_ too. Fuck…”

She twisted away from Pearl but the light from the street caught the ear running down her cheek. Pearl let out a soft whine, leaning into Violet’s side, a hand on her arm even as Violet tried to hide her face.

 

Reaching out slowly, with a belated hope that her hand didn’t still smell of cocktail, Pearl tucked the curve o her fingers under Violet’s chin, slowly pulling her back to face her. She could have cried for how little Violet fought her, and how simply it was explained by the exhaustion in Violet’s glassy eyes as she fixed her stare somewhere over Pearl’s shoulder.

“Hey… It wasn’t nearly as bad as you think-” Violet’s eyes flashed up to meet hers, glaring. “Okay, yes, maybe it wasn’t your _finest_ moment but-” Violet moved to pull her face away with a snort, Pearl catching her cheek firmly. “-But it won’t matter, Vi. It won’t. Not in a week or two, a month if it _really_ catches on. It won’t matter, and you’ll have a crowded club for the next time you make sweet, sweet love to the stage with your face,” Pearl’s voice softening as she held Violet’s gaze, “because you’re a sickening queen and you’re so talented and your fans love you and all your shit, okay?”

 

Violet stared at her, a smile pulling at her lips as she wrapped her fingers around Pearl’s wrist, and Pearl couldn’t help that grin that took over her face.

_I’ll take that smile any day_.

She leaned away, shifting to move her hand from Violet’s cheek when Violet tightened her grip. There was no sound but the shift of Violet’s cheek against Pearl’s palm as she leaned into it, her lashes flicking across Pearl’s skin damply. Pearl stared at her face: the arch of her brow and the soft glow of her cheek running together, a still-life in the shadows of a dark page. Pearl’s chest tightened, and she found herself gently pressing her fingertips to Violet’s cheek, hoping that Violet knew she wouldn’t go anywhere.

There was a faint press of lips against her hand, and then a long exhale as Violet squeezed her eyes shut before turning her cheek back into Pearl’s palm. Pearl’s lashes fluttered, watching with a frown as Violet pulled away, taking her hand from Pearl’s wrist and turning back to face the opposite wall.

 

Pearl dropped her hand and accepted her place sat staring at a wall with Violet pressed to her side from arm to hip. She smoothed the front of her robe, redistributed her ponytail over her shoulder, shivered. She looked around: the nearest dumpster just far enough that she didn’t immediately cringe, the moss growing where the paint ended in fuzzy blobs, the piece of gravel or _something_ sticking into her leg.

“Hey, Pearl?” Pearl inclined her head slightly with an affirmative noise as she fidgeted with the stones under leg. “I’m so fucking tired.” Pearl turned to look at her, catching Violet with her head propped back against the wall, eyes near-closed.

“You’d get away with going back to your hotel early, the other girls wouldn’t mind.” Violet chuckled,

“I _wish_ I was just that kind of tired, I feel like I haven’t slept in week. I just- I don’t know, I’m just so tired.” Pearl watched her curl up a little then, tucking her long legs up towards her chest and resting her hands on her knees, each blink slow. She pressed her thigh to Violet’s,

“Vi?”

“Hmm?” Violet swayed slightly.

“We’re on the floor.” Violet turned to look at her then, laughing lightly,

“Oh girl, and _I_ thought I was going to be the mess tonight, what did you _drink?_ ”

“Hey! I’m not a mess, I’m – okay, I had some drinks – But! I’m not a mess and _you’re_ not a mess, you -” Violet’s laughter only worsened, each one bubbling out of her as Pearl tried desperately to justify herself. “You’re perfect.”

It came out softly, Pearl focused on the way Violet’s eyes crinkled. Violet calmed down little by little as she tried to smother her chuckles, tilting her head towards Pearl.

“Bitch, were you not in there just now?”

“I’m serious, Violet. You are, and it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t. The tripping or coming out here because it all went to shit, it all going to shit in the first place, it _doesn’t matter_. You’re perfect and maybe, maybe -” Pearl swallowed thickly, “Maybe you’re perfectly human, but you’re still perfect, Vi.”

 

There were cars passing by on the street and the low throb of the club stretched out of the open fire door. Pearl stared at where her leg lay against Violet’s finding her hand against the beads of her dress and falling still, her eyes growing wide.

_Shit._

She started to pull herself away from Violet when she heard her chuckle. Pearl looked up in time to see Violet lean across the space between them and place her head on Pearl’s shoulder, her hand curling into the front of Pearl’s robe. Pearl’s mind skidded to a halt, eyes stuck somewhere along the alley, her otherwise full set of sense glued to the shift of Violet’s legs against her own, the weight of Violet’s head on her shoulder, her hand against her chest. Then, the rattle of her breathing and the tiny shake of her torso, the tap of something landing on Pearl’s chest.

 

Pearl blinked.

 

She watched as Violet’s hand gripped her robe, the skin stretching white over her knuckles. She watched the stutter in Violet’s breathing as she felt Pearl shifting to look at her, the clench of her jaw solid against Pearl’s shoulder. She watched Violet uncoil as she settled her arms around her, keeping Violet against her as she leaned back against the wall. Pearl stayed as still as she could as Violet arranged herself against her side, edging her face into the crook of Pearl’s neck and her hand flat against Pearl’s chest.

Pearl held her there as the shakes came and went, resisting the urge to rub her neck where Violet’s breath prickled off fading teardrops, her arm around Violet’s back and her hand tracing the gaps in the ridiculous number of jewelled bracelets and armbands Violet was wearing. The chill passed over them unnoticed as they sat twisted together in the dark.

 

Violet’s breathing evened out steadily and Pearl would have thought she was sleeping if she hadn’t mumbled against her neck,

“We should go inside,” her lips pulling into a smile as Pearl laughed.

“You would have to move though, Vi.” She could feel Violet’s put as she grumbled in response, watching as Violet’s hand ran through the ends of her wig. Pearl watched her shuffle without moving anywhere in particular before Violet pulled back just enough to check her lashes and under eyes, sniffing at the marks that came away on her fingertips. Pearl waited as Violet looked back towards the door and then down at her hands, her chest rising and falling sharply. Violet climbed to her feet, checking her skirt and bodice before strutting off down the alley. Pearl stared dumbly after her, still settled against the wall, her skin prickling without Violet warming her.

 

She had barely found her feet again, propping herself against the wall to avoid stumbling, when Violet reached the door. Pearl sighed bitterly, dropping her eyes and waiting for the tell-tale sound of the door knocking against the brick that wedged it open. Nothing. When she looked up, Violet was waiting for her, holding the door open, one foot inside. Pearl felt for he dampness on her neck but, even with the smudges beneath her eyes, it was Miss Violet Chachki looking back at her, except for the smile.

“Y’know Pearl, you might just be perfectly human, too.”

That smile was all Jason.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, thanks for reading - this is me moving my fics onto AO3 so the others should be up soon-ish, newest ones at some point after I've edited them. Hopefully the formatting holds true and it's readable for you guys. 
> 
> You can find me on https://togatenine.tumblr.com/ if you want a chat


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